Many of us have lost our fathers. They have gone to be with the Lord, as my father did. I want to share that I did not come from a perfect family. My family would be considered in today society dysfunctional. I am the third child out of a family of 4 and was raised by my grandma, a woman of God. I am now a grown woman with kids and have made my own mistakes in my life journey. Thank God, for His Salvation, His Love, Mercy, and Grace.
The other day I was thinking of my dad and missing him. My dad passed away years ago, so I asked myself why I am missing my dad. I got this feeling; if my dad was still alive I could just hug him again and say I love him. The thought of his loss is in my heart.
My father was not a perfect man. I have a few memories of him. I was raised by my grandma because my parents were divorcing when I was a baby. My father was an alcoholic. Although he had this problem he would always visit me on week-ends - at times being very drunk. I was so happy to see my Daddy, it didn’t matter that he was drunk. This was the pattern for years as I grew up. My dad was absent from my childhood life due to his life style of drinking.
I remember writing him letters asking him to stop drinking. As years went by I grew up and my father got older. I got married had kids. My father would come out and stay with me on week-ends. He still continued to drink - not as much - but he would still drink his six packs. I was happy that in the last months of my dad’s life my husband and I asked him if he would like to receive Jesus in His heart. He said yes and accepted Jesus. Praise God.
One night, I got a call from the hospital. My father was in the hospital. He had slipped on ice and was in the hospital dying from erupted liver. My heart dropped and realized that my dad would be gone forever. For many years I felt robbed of a father due to his addiction to alcohol. Now he was on his death bed fighting for his life. In the last hours of His life, my mom and dad forgave each other. After a few short hours later, he passed away.
I was meditating on God and asking God to examine my heart. I kept asking the Lord to show me what is deep in my heart and to what have I thrown away the key.
The Lord said to me, “Estela, you have to forgive your dad.”
And I said, “But God, I forgave him already for drinking and not being with me when I needed him.”
And the Holy Spirit nudged me again and said to my heart, “You have forgiven him with your mouth with words, but you have not truly forgiven him with your heart.”
I started to cry, and asked God to forgive me. I repented and felt a huge burden removed from my heart.
Because my father was absent from my life since I was a little girl, I have had to depend on God to be my father. My grandmother was a woman of prayer. She taught me to pray and look for God in prayer. Since the time I was a young girl, I have always called upon God. I would always imagine God in the sky, high up in the sky and watching over me. He hears my prayers and will take care of me. I thank God for His love and protection throughout my life. Who would I have been if he had not saved me and restored me? Praise God, Praise God! I am His daughter.
If you allow God to come into your heart and place the healing balm over it, He will mend the wounds and heal your heart. Make a choice today to walk and show forgiveness to others. Don’t hold prisoners in your life by only forgiving with words, God wants everything removed from our hearts; so we need to forgive with our heart. Keep a pure heart for God.
We have our Heavenly Father who knows everything about us from the moment we are conceived in our mother’s womb. Reach out to Daddy’s arm and let him embrace you with His Love, seek a love encounter. Go to God and let go of everything in your heart let Him show you His love. Allow him to give you kisses of love surround your life with His favor and grace. Remember you are loved a daughter or son of the Most High who is sitting in His Throne.
We have this promise as children of God.
Ephesians 1-5
His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure.
God Bless you!
Be Encouraged!
Estela
